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Monday, April 18, 2016

Dede's Wisdom - Nobody Said Life Was Fair

Dede, my grandmother, and a staple of my blog, always said, "Nobody said life was fair."  She was right.  I'm sure most of you realize this now.  I'm also sure you've heard it before.  However, it is pertinent to not only hear it, but to live knowing it.  Being aware, and believing it, can release you from the fairy tale you may be living.  I lived a fairy tale once, and when it was gone, it wasn't fair, it stung like the devil, and it was a shocking eye-opener to the real world - jolting me out of the "pink fluff" I was living, like being shot out of a canon.

Now, I've come to to terms that nothing is fair.  For example, my father dying suddenly from a heart attack at 37, and I was 15 was definitely unfair.  I even blamed my father and God for leaving me.  I thought God did it on purpose, but that's the mind of a 15 year old.  My mother passing at only 62 was not fair, either.  The feeling of loss is only soothed by the fact that they are at peace now.  I hope.

I have at least five friends at the moment, that I know of, that are going through cancer treatment - at 48!  Not fair.  I am actually stunned at the cancer that my friends have.  We all grew up in the same place, went to high school together (three of them), and the other two also live in the same area - fearfully close to a nuclear power plant.  Hmm ... I wonder.

My ex-husband had a heart attack, bypass, and lost the sight in one eye all within 3 years.  Not fair.  I have also had health issues to bear, and no one told me that I deserved it.  No one deserves to go through turmoil in their lives, or even the day-to-day struggles we face.  However, we can change the way we think and react to these situations.

Dede would say, "Oh well, get back on your horse," after an incident, illness or any situation where it didn't work out the way I wanted.  She was never a quitter.  She lived with life-long health issues and pain, starting at 16 through to her dying day.  She never, ever quit going, loving life and loving her family and friends through many problems, while giving advice when asked.  Believe me, all of her grandchildren relished the 2a.m. "cereal time," when she would get up in the middle of the night to eat a bowl of cereal and talk to one of us.  We cherished that time with her, in the quiet of the night, alone and chatting about everything you can think of, from the inane to the serious.  She was full of wisdom, and guess what?  She was always fair.  I think she was because life wasn't, and she wanted to present the other side, so we didn't lose hope.  What I took from her, is that my issues may not be fair at times, but there is always hope.

It's like that grandmother in the movie "Parenthood," shown below.  She reminds me of my Dede.  Enjoy life, my friends, because you never know what will come your way.

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